I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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