when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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