There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
