We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
