The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
