I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
