Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't think brook has ever known best
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
