If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You may now shotgun with the bride
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
