it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
