That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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