I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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