Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
