I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
