They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize