my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
