"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
