another moral hangover. fuck.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize