He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
