How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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