I hate all girls vehemently.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
