This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
