He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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