I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
