Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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