did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
