my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
