we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
