That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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