you guys were way drunker than both of me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
