FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
