guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
