grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize