if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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