I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Randomize