sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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