We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
