Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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