we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
