Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
