there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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