i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I'm really busy with my period
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