ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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