Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
