pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You have to summon your inner elephant
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize