if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
