Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
