If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
