we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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