i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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