dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
