we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it was like having sex with a tree stump
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
