his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
