I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize