bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
