thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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