Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
