I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
