when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
